FLATWARE
A short script about mismatched NYC roommates, love, and coats. Check out IG: @sgerk to watch this script as a finished short.
INT. KITCHEN SOMEWHERE IN QUEENS
SIN (some lady, a bit of a try hard) is standing at the sink washing dishes. She cleans a FORK and drops it in the drying rack. She does a double take at the drying rack. It’s all spoons and knives. Only one FORK.
MAS (another lady, apathetic but present) comes in and leaves a mug on the counter next to the sink.
MAS: You can leave it, I’ll get it when you’re done.
SIN: (genuinely cheery) It’s fine I’m already doing them.
SIN grabs the mug and quickly cleans it. MAS opens a cabinet and looks for something to eat. She changes her mind and closes it.
SIN: Hey, have you noticed— do you know where the forks are?
MAS: What?
SIN: The forks. When I moved in last month, together we had like... at least 6? (looks at drying rack) We only have like 2 in rotation right now--
MAS: (direct) I don’t have the forks.
SIN: N-oh no- I just mean- didn’t we have more?
MAS: (uninterested and defensive) I don’t know where the forks are.
SIN: (trying to correct) Totally, yeah I’m sure like I packed them with my lunch and left them somewhere at work. Who knows. Just weird how that happens, you know?
MAS opens the cabinet back up and stares at the shelf.
SIN waits for a response and doesn’t get one. She finishes the dishes and wrings out the sponge. She dries her hand on a towel.
SIN: (trying) Are you heading to work?
MAS: Yeah, but then I’ve got a date later...trying to figure out if I should eat now or wait for dinner.
SIN: That’s fun, where are you guys going for dinner?
MAS: I don’t know. It’s this girl I’m seeing with a bunch of food allergies so I’m sure we’ll go some place with tiny nut free sandwiches or small plates of chewy gluten free pasta.
SIN: But it’s worth it right?
MAS: Huh?
SIN: You like her, so it’s worth it?
MAS: Meh.
SIN is confused.
MAS grabs a bag of tortilla chips out of the pantry. She opens the bag and starts eating them loudly. Joylessly
SIN: (still trying) How was the date you went on uh- two, three nights ago? Was it this same girl?
MAS chews loudly for a moment staring at SIN.
MAS: Oh. Yeah. No that was Blake. It was good.
SIN: What did you guys do?
MAS: Uh just the usual drinks and Iron Chef and hooking up. Nothing crazy.
MAS isn’t pushing the conversation forward. At all. SIN feels it but tries to act like she doesn’t.
SIN: Oh, are you poly?
MAS: Mmm. I guess. But I’m not actually like committed to anyone. I just casually date a lot of people regularly. There’s no “amory” part in the polyamory. Probably closer to ethical non-monogamy. They all know I’m not monogamous.
SIN: That sounds like a lot of work.
MAS: It really isn’t.
MAS keeps eating tortilla chips.
SIN folds up the towel and puts it over the sink.
SIN: So, if you don’t really like her and you don’t really like the food. Why do you go?
MAS: It’s like coats.
SIN: (nodding) mmm.
MAS doesn’t go on.
SIN: how?
MAS: It’s just nice to have a lot of options. For different kinds of weather. Who just has one coat?
SIN: Well, if you invest in that coat then... You have a nice coat that you really like.
MAS: Mmm. But did you invest in that coat because you loved it and it really was perfect? Or do you love that coat because you invested in it and now you just make it work for all kinds of weather even if you’re freezing or sweating.
SIN: So, you’re saying you’d rather have a bunch of coats you don’t even like instead of just having one nice coat that you love? That... seems weird.
MAS: I think that’s probably how everyone feels about coats. Who really cares about coats?
SIN: (suddenly offended) I mean I obviously have more than one coat.
MAS: Yeah, duh. Everyone does.
MAS is suddenly finished with the chips, she crumples up the bag and puts them away.
MAS: Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow probably. Thanks for doing the dishes.
SIN: (trying. still.) No problem. Yeah, ok see you tomorrow.
MAS grabs keys and walks out, we hear her leave.
SIN is standing in the kitchen, thinking.
She looks towards the back of the apartment.
We follow her as she heads to MAS’s room.
SIN stands at MAS’s room door. The door is shut.
SIN thinks about the door. Is she willing to invade her privacy on a hunch?
She walks away.
She walks back into frame quickly and thrusts open the door.
Inside we see HUNDREDS OF FORKS. They line the shelves, they’re piled on the bed. They are hung on the walls.
We see SIN. Amazed, horrified, and filled with wonder.
END
Thanks for reading:)
This short was created from a few memories and opportunities:
A true story. A couple years ago when we still sublet our backroom (featured at the end of this short) a subletter once (accidentally) hoarded the majority of our spoons in their room. At the time, the spoons were just considered lost. I off-handedly asked if our subletter knew where they were? They were very offended. But. When they moved out, they sweetly admitted they had found 6 spoons in their room. Which truly happens. No judgement. But it was funny. Though, forks are funnier.
Sarah Bockel and I have made a few other slightly absurd shorts. She’s always down to come try some weird idea I have and shoot it in half a day (sometimes less.) Though lately we’ve been working in and out of town and haven’t been able to see each other much. So in December of 2022 we overlapped literally ONE day. So I sent her this script and asked if she’d be down to take that ONE day we could see each other in probably a year to make this weird thing. She said yes.
I love talking to women about how they understand and experience love. Women feel so deeply and express in such detail. Before writing this short I had the great privilege of performing a piece about generations of love lost and found with a truly heartbreakingly beautiful cast and creative team. In the dressing room one day we had a beautiful (much more in depth and heart-full) conversation about the differences in loving many or one people/person. Though this script is a more irreverent and wry conversation about love and how people feel it, I hope it leaves you feeling unsure where you stand about more and less.